Karin with an I

No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

- John Keating – Dead Poet’s Society

When I was 16, Dead Poet’s Society came out in theaters. Like every other girl my age, I loved that movie so hard it was ridiculous. It hurt my heart, it made me cry. It made me think about friendships, love, and life. It also made me realize that my love of reading and writing should be cultivated, not hidden away. John Keating’s words of advice to his students, “Carpe Diem” became my personal mantra.

Seize the day. It’s something I’ve had to remind myself to do whenever I find myself sliding down the long, ugly slide that is life with anxiety, depression, and OCD. Instead of being worried about all of the WHAT IFS life throws at me, I have attempted to grab each and every moment and make the most of it.

Last night I was looking at the calendar and I realized that there are only 40 days until my 40th birthday. 40. 4-Oh. Whoa. Where have the last 10 years gone? Have I seized ever moment I have been offered?

I have never been one of those girls who worried or boo hooed about turning 30, 40, 50, or 100, but for me, any age ending in ZERO has been and will be a milestone year. They are a time to stop and take stock of where I’ve been and where I’m going.

In the past, I made lists of things I wanted to accomplish during the year, but this year instead of making a checklist, I want to celebrate the entry into my new decade by doing things in increments of 40.

• When I exercise, I will do 40 reps…40 laps…40 minutes each tim
• Knitting 40 stitches…rows…minutes when I pick up needles
• Reading 40 pages…40 minutes…40 chapters when I have a book or Kindle in my hand
• Writing 40 words…sentences…paragraphs every time I start to type.

Instead of running away from or cowering or trying to hide from my forties, I am going to embrace them and all the new experiences I will have. I will carpe the hell out of each and every diem I have.

It has been 35 days since I’ve even opened this page. 35 days in which I have written nothing more demanding than a grocery list or a “don’t forget to do all this shit first thing in the morning” list. It hasn’t been for lack of want or ideas. The ideas are all there, stories writing themselves in my head, but when I sit down and try to spit them out……..nothing.

I feel like I’ve been standing on the beach, toes buried in the sand, just watching the tide roll in and out. No matter what I do, the waves never get to me. Today, the waves have crawled far enough up the beach to move the sand  covering my feet. I may not be diving back in, but my toes are getting wet.

This week’s 100 Word prompt is

TUCK

The Plea

“It’s ok, Brownie, we’re almost there.”

The murmur carried through the darkness.  I heard the tiptoed steps of pajama clad feet as they crept down the shadowy hall.  I sat and waited. We had played this game countless times over the years and while I pretended to be annoyed, I still loved hearing the whispers floating my way.

A blonde head and wide, blue eyes peered at me over the top of the couch. A chubby hand, clutching a bedraggled teddy bear patted my head.  “We tried to fall asleep, Mommy, but couldn’t.  Will you please come tuck us in?”

You can see all the other 100 word stories and keep up with the weekly prompts at Velvet Verbosity.